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Post by Graebelle on Feb 2, 2009 20:08:15 GMT -6
Alrighty! The funny pics I've been putting in the CBox are here ^^ Enjoy! I think that's enough for now. xP Or not... |
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Post by Graebelle on Feb 7, 2009 16:44:01 GMT -6
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Post by Neko on Feb 7, 2009 18:04:08 GMT -6
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Post by Graebelle on Feb 7, 2009 22:49:40 GMT -6
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Post by Graebelle on Feb 12, 2009 18:53:56 GMT -6
      I like this one ^^         Remind me to show this one to my sister xD    |
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Post by Graebelle on Feb 13, 2009 23:06:12 GMT -6
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Post by Graebelle on Mar 11, 2009 20:29:30 GMT -6
Number One Idiot of 2008
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter in to the emergency room right away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
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Numb er Two Idiot of 2008
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locater beacon that activated when the raft was inflated.
They are no longer employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign,guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
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Number Three Idiot of 2008
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote this, "Put all your money in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
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Number Four Idiot of 2008
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that; measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs.. He immediately mailed in his $40.
Wise guy........
But you sti ll get a sign
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Number Five Idiot of 2008
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.
The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loo t. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license.
They arrested the robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign.
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Idiot Number Six of 2008
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers.
The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
This guy doesn't even deserve a sign.
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Idiot Number Seven of 2008
Arkansas : Seems this guy wanted som e beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexiglass.
The whole event was caught on videotape.
Yep, here's your sign.
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Idiot Number Eight of 2008
We live in a semi-rural area, ( Weyauwega , Wisconsin ), and we recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! - I don 't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."
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STAY ALERT! They walk among us, and they REPRODUCE!
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Post by Graebelle on Apr 8, 2009 20:47:15 GMT -6
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at
a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'she's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking
right after we split up those many years ago and I hear she
hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And that's how the fight started ...
****
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.
I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.
I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'
My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'
And that's how the fight started ....
****
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said,
"Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's how the fight started ....
****
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me'
And she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten Disability, too'
And that's how the fight started ....
****
I rear-ended a car this morning.
So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out
of his car.
You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and
Little things just seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,
'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'
So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'
And that's how the fight started ....
****
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'
He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
'Nah,' I said, 'she can order for herself.'
And that's how the fight started ....
****
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's darn near perfect.'
And that's how the fight started ....
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Post by Graebelle on Apr 8, 2009 21:00:01 GMT -6
And some funny little jokes, just 'cause ^^
1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.
2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It.
3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path.
4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It.
5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!
6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroid's.
7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick.
8. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
9. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko.
10. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.
11. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.
12. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.
13. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.
14. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.
15. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.
16. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes Whack, Dang! A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.
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Post by Graebelle on Dec 2, 2009 22:58:23 GMT -6
Here's something that's guaranteed to get a laugh. ^^ I love it. Uber funny stuff. lfgcomic.com/page/1 |
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Post by Graebelle on Dec 9, 2009 1:55:02 GMT -6
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Post by Graebelle on Dec 29, 2009 0:59:56 GMT -6
Thought this was appropriate to put here. ^^
theoatmeal.com/comics/coffee
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♥
