|
|
Post by Neko on Dec 8, 2009 11:36:20 GMT -6
A/N:: Alright here are two small stories that are really to short to be posted alone but are to long to be put at the end of a longer story so I will just post both of them here. Anyways… Pork! It's the meat of kings! It's made from pig, try it with onion rings.
Pork sure goes with everything, cause it's made from swine, and swine sure tastes fine.
Just bring some to the picnic baby, You know you wanna stuff it in my hamper But please put it in some Tupperware Cause I don't wanna be a porky chancer. Let's talk about pork Converse about meat Veggies get wedgies cause meat can't be beat Ham and bacon you should taste them I know it's surprising but it's so appetizing!
…
Yup
…
READ!
~~~
It was still cold, not as badly but it was still cold enough to keep the snow coming instead of rain, keep the ponds and lakes frozen, and keep select humans and darkling freezing cold. However Innocence was not one of these darkling. In fact she wanted to try something before the ice melted. She had heard from Walter, Rhys, and even her uncle about a type of play that allowed you to put a blade on your shoe and ‘walk’ on the ice without falling if you had the right balance. She wanted to try it… Her uncle hearing her request had dug out his and Vivi’s old skates and gave them to her last night.
She had decided even though she hated her aunt, that her skates would fit much better. Putting them on by the local lake she went to try skating. At first she was really bad, falling over and falling on her ass. After a few days of practice she finally was able to do a few tricks and keep from falling. Damon who had no idea where she was going decided to follow her one night out of curiosity. Following quietly behind her he waited, when he saw her go on the ice he looked confused but was fairly worried.
That was until he saw her skating around. That caused him to tilt his head in amusement. He then stepping out of the shadows grabbed her attention, “What are you doing?” Innocence surprised failed to stop and ended up skating right into him. He gave her a blank look as she just giggled on his chest. “Well?” Innocence sitting up shrugged, “Something everyone kept telling me was fun, and it is, it really is. You should try it!” Damon watched as she stood up and grabbed the extra pair she had. He took one of the skates and raised a brow.
“What exactly is being done?” Innocence lifting her leg up brought the white skate up. “The blade causes it to slice though the ice and make you glide almost. It feels like you are flying.” Damon gave her an amused look, “Alright I will bite, how does it work exactly?” Innocence bit back her remark to his own and settled on placing a finger to her bottom lip. “Not sure exactly, I just learned how to do it myself. Put those on and I can try to help you too!” Damon waited a moment before breaking down and putting the skates on.
He almost felt backwards when he stood, Innocence however grabbed his arm and helped him onto the ice where he fell on his ass. “This is hardly fun.” Trying to stand he fell again. Innocence giggled, “It takes awhile to learn.” Grabbing his hand she started to skate backwards, helping him get momentum and start to skate by himself. She skated a few circles around him and then when he could not break grabbed him by his waist and helped him stop. Robert who had been stopping by for a visit saw the two of them and grinned. Knocking on the door Rhys opened it. “Oh hello.”
Robert gave a small bow and smiled. Rhys looked around, “Have you seen my brother?” Robert backing away, pointed to the small pond. “There.” For a moment Rhys watched the two falling over each other and after a moment Damon seemed to catch his balance before Innocence had to help him again. Rhys gave a blank look. “Why do I feel like I have seen this before.” Robert simply replaced his hat on his head before walking past Rhys. He then after getting a few steps into the house sung in glee, “Every kiss begins with kaaay.”
Rhys took a moment but he then remembered the commercials he had pictured the scene from, he then shot an amused look over his shoulder before he rolled his eyes, joining Robert in his merriment over mushy commercials in the older days. “He went to Jared…” Robert letting out a laugh continued walking down the hallway and then spoke, “Zales, making memories last a lifetime.” As the two outside continued to attempt a decent skate the two older men inside just continued down the hallway laughing and mocking the commercials of the older days.
~~~
A/N:: Alright I thought that up a few days ago when I saw one of those corny jewelry commercials. I hope you all agree that they are corny lol. Anyways I figure it was amusing enough to post. I got another short story after this one so keep reading and keep those drinks and snacks for after the show. Your keyboard will thank you.
~~~
Walter had been dealing with a fairly bit dilemma… He was stuck with several woman and all of them were bored. Innocence, Enigma, Sarah, Satisfaction, Whisper, Jezebelle, and Jalilah were all visiting. It was a decent spring day and it had been decided that the two houses would meet up in the middle of town… Sadly the boys were running late and he was stuck outside Tiamorre house with woman… Several bored woman glaring at him… Now he was not the one who was the type to get revenge but if the three men who were suppose to come did not arrive soon he would, if he was not already torn to pieces, would be getting some nice revenge on them.
Satisfaction let out a bored sigh, “Waaaaaaalter…” Walter gave a soft smile, “Yes?” Satisfaction raised her head so she could look up at him, “I am bored…” Walter grinned softly before patting her head. “I know…” Enigma glared at him, “Walter, your fired.” Walter gave her a surprised look, “Huh?” Enigma then grinned, “Your hired, welcome to your new job.” Walter felt his expression freeze, “Uh…” Innocence giggled, “You are no longer the butler, you are now the joker, make us laugh.”
Sarah giggled lightly while Jalilah and Jezebelle giggled in their corner. Whisper gave Walter a blank look, “Yes entertain us…” She said it in a low voice with a threatening glare. Walter just froze up again… Oh shit… He was going to be sacrificed in the name of amusement. Backing up slightly he suddenly remembered something. “Hula hoop!” Satisfaction looked up confused while Enigma and Innocence just looked at each other with amused grins. “What is a hula hoop?” Walter running to is room grabbed the only four he had. “Hoops that go around your hips and-”
Jezebelle laughed, “Those are much to big to go around any hips.” Walter sighed before continuing it looked like they would be giving him a chance to explain at least. Dropping three of them on the ground he placed on around his own hips and with a gesture telling everyone to watch while waiting a moment, he swung the hoops around his hips and began to move his waist so it would keep swinging. Satisfaction watched and then started to bounce up and down. “Lemme try!”
Enigma then gave an amused laugh, “I think he took the new job offer seriously…” Innocence grinned before standing and grabbing one of the hoops. Repeating the action she joined Walter and Satisfaction in keeping the hoop moving. Walter stopped and let the hoop drop the ground. He only had four so he hoped the girls would share. Whisper standing up grabbed one and Enigma with a curious look grabbed the last one. Jezebelle cheered the girls on. Satisfaction growing tired sat on Jezebelle’s lap and Sarah took the remaining hoop.
Walter taking a seat rubbed his temples as it seemed he relieved some boredom. Enigma and Innocence took to it fairly easily and ended up helping Whisper and Sarah get the hang over it. After a few more minutes the three boys ended up finally arriving. Rhys and Damon both gave agape looks at seeing the girls. The two of them looked at Walter who looked like he was asleep. Robert laughed and then the three went to go tell Walter they arrived and he knew… For a moment he was frozen in his position but then slowly like in a horror movie he raised his head and met all three men in the eyes for a moment.
He then stood and cracked his knuckles. Woman he could not deal with but… Men… Rhys and Damon both looked at each other before backing up slowly, Robert let out a nervous chuckle. “Now see here…” Walter glaring at them caused Robert to pause. Walter mumbled out a count down and the boys seeing no way to talk themselves out of this broke out into a sprint, Robert following close behind Rhys and Damon as Walter chased after them screaming out threats and curses. He had survived but he would make sure these three would never plan to leave him alone again…
Jezebelle and her mother along with Satisfaction all watched from their seats on the ground and the four hula-hooping girls continued to hoop but turned around to watch Walter chase the boys around in his revenge. After awhile the girls stopped hooping and now sat on the ground with the remaining girls. This was fair more amusing to watch. The girls all traded glances before they started to laugh. Putting down bets on who would get mauled first and who would end up surviving. Now this was entertainment…
~~~
A/N:: How was that lol the second story was a bit amusing. More Walter torture. I know Rhys would probably actually fight back but in all amusement he ran away with the other two seeing Walter had a ‘dangerous’ glint in his eye that only comes out when he is left with the evil woman we know and love. I hope these short stories were amusing enough to read. I am trying my best lol.
|
|
♥