A Place to Think-continued

[Graebelle]

As she felt the shirt being draped over her shoulders, she turned her head to smile thankfully back at him, gripping the sleeves and gently pulling it a little more secure around herself. The chill was light, but the action still struck her as terribly sweet, even if it left Rhys more exposed to the cold than her. It didn't really surprise her that Rhys had no ready answer or suggestion for her question. She couldn't even be sure there would be a right way about it at all. It wasn't the most conventional thing. They didn't meet properly, hadn't been meeting as society's customs dictated, not to mention the obvious race difference. And things had gone rather speedily between them. All were things that hadn't really seemed to mean all that much to Sarah, but to her aunt, when she got down to explaining, would be hard pressed not to find something amiss with their relationship. If she didn't care for her aunt's opinion it might have been an easier deal, but the truth was she did. She wanted her aunt to be happy for her, to wish her the best and not fear for her safety because of the life she was getting herself into. It was rather hard not to already hear her aunt's warning voice speaking against such a match, but she did her best not to. It wouldn't help her resolve later when she breeched the subject with her.

She found herself intrigued by the statement of Damon possibly overreacting about things once he returned to the house. What could have possibly happened for him to wish to lock his brother up? For his own safety? Well, she couldn't truly count that out. She'd had her own close call with him their first vist here to the cabin, though anymore such incidents were put to a stop when she'd brought the small blade home with her. She was glad to have it, since it did make her feel a bit safer, as it made her feel more certain that Rhys was safe as well. "I'm sure once you tell him the good news he'll be forced to be happy and forget about it for a while. He couldn't possibly stay mad after that."

It took her a quick moment to realize that he wasn't keeping up and that she'd gained at least two or three paces ahead of him. Turning, her brow furrowed in puzzlement, she searched his face, her worry beginning to take off. What was happening? Where had that distant look come from? "Rhys?" she asked gently, going back to his side and softly touching his arm. It couldn't have been the sun, could it? She knew from before too long in the sun could end badly, but before he had staggered and grown weak. This time he just froze staring wide eyed ahead as if looking somewhere else entirely. He whimpered and crumbled onto the ground, and for a moment Sarah stood staring in a stunned silence, her hand up and over her mouth. "Rhys. Rhys, wake up." She dropped down onto her knees beside him, moving him onto his back and quickly looking over him. He seemed okay physically, nothing to show what might have-- Her eyes lingered for a moment over the branded mark near his shoulder, the realization of what it was coming a second late. Who could have done that? And why?

She gave her head a gentle shake. There would be more time, plenty of time, for those sorts of questions later. The most important thing at the moment was getting him conscious again. "Please, Rhys. Wake up." Her voice was soft yet pleading, running a hand gently over his cheek while the other smoothed back his hair. She did the best she could to reassure herself that what ever had caused this fainting spell wasn't all that serious, but a nagging voice full of certainty said differently, and drowning it out was proving to be too difficult.

[1<3[)r@I<3]

His brow furrowed as a tiny frown appeared on his face and he shook his head slightly, murmuring softly. He didn't want to wake up, fearing that the happiness he had found would turn out to be nothing more than a fever dream brought on by pain. That he would see a landscape ravaged by fires, earthquakes, and shock waves instead of the small clearing. That he would find himself surrounded by mounds of glass, steel, and concrete rubble, the few buildings still standing twisted out of recognizable form by the violence of the global catastrophe. He didn't want to see the hastily rigged shelters--some filled with the dying, others with those waiting to die--or hear the wails of those grieving for lost or missing loved ones.

Sarah's soft voice and gentle touch reached him as though from a vast distance, pleading with him, drawing him back from the realms of memory. He opened his eyes, once more shadowed with haunting memories and remembered pain, and stared at the branches above him in confusion. He turned his head slightly to look at her. "Sarah?" He pushed himself up so that he was sitting beside her. "What....?"

[Graebelle]

The way he was acting had her worried. She hadn't seen him act like this before, one second appear okay and the next suddenly be passed out on the ground. Even though he was out, he still had her worried. He wasn't just lying still, and instead frowned in what ever part of his mind he was currently in, shaking his head from side to side as if he was against something she had no knowledge of. What could have pulled him so far away from her like this, and keep her from getting him back? "Rhys, please wake up," she said again, her composure slowly beginning to weaken.

A touch of relief swept quickly through her as he opened his eyes, though she knew just because he was awake didn't mean they were clear yet. What ever had caused him to pass out had made a visible change on him, she realized, as she caught the haunted look that had returned to his eyes. It had been practically gone when she'd looked into them last. Could his happiness really be so easily extinguished? She leaned back as he propped himself up to question what had happened, reaching forward to gently run her hand against his cheek. "You fainted," she replied quietly, worry still creasing her brow as she looked at him. "We were walking, and all of a sudden you stopped and fell. Are you okay?"

[1<3[)r@I<3]

He leaned his face against Sarah's hand, finding comfort in her touch though her worry ate at him in a way nothing else ever had. "I...I don't...It's not..." He shook his head slowly, not wanting to remember that day though it was still fresh in his mind and allowed him no escape. Usually he would try to act as though nothing had happened since his flashbacks often occurred when he was alone, though he was fairly touchy for a few days. But this time it had happened twice in less than a day. And he knew the only thing that had kept him from passing out last time had been the scrying done by that blond half-blood girl he'd found in the hallway at home.

He shook his head again, sadly this time, and hesitantly closed his hand over the brand. "It was a...a flashback. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you worry. It's nothing, really." He tried to smile and failed, his grip tightening until his fingers dug into his arm. Then his shoulders slumped in defeat and the words began to tumble from him. He tried to stop and found he couldn't. He told her about the catastrophe that had killed the old world, what he knew of it. And of the aftermath, how he, and other darklings in other cities, had been chosen to end the lives of the dying and of those whose bodies where so badly damaged they could no longer contribute to the survival of humankind.

Tears began to run down his face as he told her about the last, a young man paralyzed by falling debris. How that one young man had been one too many and he'd refused, despite being ordered to do it. And what had been done to him as a result. He hadn't realized at the time, though he learned the lesson well, that his father did not take well to being disobeyed. His father could be quite violent for one so passive, though it didn't show often, and it was he who had given the order for Rhys' punishment. He looked down and a strangled sob escaped him. "Why can't I forget? Why do I have to remember this?"

[Graebelle]

His struggle didn't go unnoticed, and though she tried to hide it her worry only kept growing little by little. It was as if he was trying to repress something, doing his best to keep something back or inside, though for a moment, the moment of his fall, it had broken through. And what ever it was had a horrible effect on him. Another shake of his head and he caved a little, giving her an idea of what had happened to cause his black out and all the while trying to play it off as something unimportant. Sarah knew better, and her expression hardly changed at all as she watched his failed attempt at a smile, his hand begin to grip his arm tightly over the scar. It must have had something to do with it, how he had gotten it, and though she wished he would tell her she said nothing and let her hand slide away from his cheek. It didn't seem right, especially at a moment like this, to pry when this subject seemed to cause him so much pain to just think about.

Surprisingly to her, he wasn't finished caving, and suddenly he was spilling the story he had been trying to so hard to hide. It was practically like being told another fairy tale in her eyes. It had all happened so long ago, and no one really nowadays thought too much about "way back when," before things had taken a horrible turn and destroyed practically everything save a special priveledged few. But unlike other fairy tales, there was no happy ending to this one, or at least Rhys's version of it. What he'd been forced to do, ending the lives of those who had suffered from the effects of the mass destruction. It was a part of his life that was new to her, surprising, and she was half glad she hadn't lived during that time. Things must have been so terribly hard without having to deal with the dead and dying all around you, and especially in the manner Rhys had to. How he had managed she didn't know, but was glad just to same since it meant he was here with her now.

The hurt wasn't finished yet, and by the time he was done telling her all that had happened her own eyes had grown watery. She was shocked by the punishment he had received for being unable to perform the duty asked of him, greatly because it had been his father to execute the judgment. It seemed so harsh for something so understandable, at least from her perspective. It made sense to her that a person with a good heart could only take so much of that, and she had no doubts Rhys was a good person. Feeling helpless, and at a loss for what to say, Sarah sighed and leaned forward to wrap her arms around his shoulders in a gentle hug. Holding him seemed the only thing she could do that might make things easier on him, and she wanted to help in any way she could. Scooting towards him, she pulled him closer, cradling him against her in an attempt to soothe him in the only way she knew how.

[1<3[)r@I<3]

He felt her arms encircle his shoulders and leaned into the embrace as she cradled him. He closed his eyes and tried to banish the memories, but they merely played out on the backs of his eyelids. The sights, smells, and feelings replayed them selves over and over, and he couldn't stop them. He knew that opening his eyes would do no good. He would still see, hear, and feel what he had felt then. Gradually, the scents and sensations faded, as though being hidden by a mist or fog, until only the sights remained to haunt him. The sobs eased as well, though he continued to cry at the visions he was still seeing. They alone would have been enough at times to trigger bouts of extreme depression, leading him to make an attempt to end his life. But not this time. Not with an angel watching over him. Slowly, the mist rose to soften the edges of the visions of his past, easing the pain of the memories and replacing them with a more gentle remembrance. And as the visions faded in the rising mist within his mind, so did the tears coursing down his face.

He took a few deep, calming breaths in an attempt to regain his composure. He felt as though a terrible weight had been lifted from him, though he didn't know why. As he leaned against her, once more breathing easily, he released his arm and brought his left hand up to cover one of hers. He straightened up slightly so she wouldn't have to bear all his weight and looked at her with eyes still shadowed, though not as deeply. He didn't have to force the faint, sad smile that touched his lips before he laid his head on her shoulder. "You are my saving grace. I don't think I've ever been as happy as I am when I am with you." Rhys sighed in contentment and closed his eyes once more. He squeezed her hand gently and then wrapped his fingers about it. But his contentment was marred by the knowledge that his memories would return to steal his happiness, and that would make Sarah worry. And that was the one thing he knew for certain that he couldn't protect her from.

[Graebelle]

Sarah shifted just the slightest bit when Rhys leaned against her, making it easier for her to support him while he cried. It bothered her how these thoughts from the past could take him back to the day it actually happened and wondered if there ever would be a day when he wouldn't be plagued by them. It seemed doubtful from her perspective. These events had happened so long ago, before the catastrophe she'd known next to nothing about until a moment earlier when Rhys had told her about it. And all those memories saved up since then... Hoping for them to leave sounded very much like a lost cause, but she didn't know what else to do.

She held him gently against her, her eyes staring distantly at the ground while she waited for him to break free of his terrible memories and return to the present. The slow transition was seen by her, and she was patient as he eventually ended his sobbing cries and tears. She felt better once he'd stopped, guessing that he was close to being back to normal again, or as close to normal as he was able to get considering all he'd been through that she now knew of. When he shifted to take her hand and smile at her, Sarah smiled softly back, resting her head against his as she listened to him speak. His contented sigh afterwards only brought a slightly bigger smile to her lips, and she turned her head enough to kiss the top of his head before resting her head against his once more. For a moment, she said nothing, though after a while she did become a little more aware of the cooler air of the shade compared to when they'd been standing the sun. "Would you like your shirt back?" she questioned softly, hoping the air wasn't bothering him too much though it didn't appear to be.

[1<3[)r@I<3]

Her soft smile made him feel better about what he had told her. It meant she wasn't going to turn away from him, that she didn't see him as the murderer he had often felt himself to be. Those lives taken on the heels of the catastrophe had been no threat to anyone and that made it wrong in his eyes, always had been wrong to him though he had merely done for them what he had often tried for himself in the long millinia since. When she leaned her head against his as he spoke, he opened himself more fully to the love he felt emanating from her. Not in waves either, but a steady flow like a river. It wasn't that he doubted her, no never that. He simply needed the soothing comfort of it, a need more emotional than physical. Then she kissed the top of his head before leaning hers against it again, and all seemed right with the world once more. He could feel her worry pulsing at him, knew he was the cause, but it seemed less perhaps than it had been. He would send it away some day. He thought he could do it, if he tried hard enough. All he had to do was keep those torturous memories at bay until they no longer plagued him. That would keep his brother from worrying as well, though that was little more than a fringe benefit.

The air turned just a touch cooler, and he felt concern riding the love flowing from her. He was about to ask her what was wrong when she offered to return his shirt, and realized she was worried now about his comfort. He laughed softly as he answered, though the cooler air wasn't exactly comfortable for him without a shirt. He could tolerate it, and so could most human males if they spent any real time out in the weather as he tended to do. "I'll be fine. The air isn't that bad, though I think perhaps you should bring a cloak next time. Or at least stay in the sun where its warmer." He didn't want to leave her arms, but thought it would be better for her if they moved back into the sun. He would take whatever pain it gave him, and gladly, if it meant she didn't need to suffer the cold under the trees. So he stood without releasing her hand, hoping she would be willing to stand as well. The chill breeze winding its way through the trees hit them then, causing him to shiver slightly. He hid that well enough, though the goosebumps that popped up on his arms and chest were impossible to hide. "Lets get you back into the sun before it gets any cooler here. I don't want you to get sick. I'm not much good at helping people through illnesses, not enough practice I guess."

[Graebelle]

She should have known he would say he was fine in this air; even if he hadn't been he'd still probably want her to have his shirt to keep warm. His laugh made her feel a little better about him, glad to hear him use a lighter, happier tone compared to his earlier one. And she could have rolled her eyes when he stated she should wear a cloak next time they were out, again not showing any concern for himself. Only her. The thought made her more happy than she probably should have been, but she knew while he was looking out for her well being she would be doing the same for him, and because of that they would both be fine. They would balance things out one way or another, and there was still plenty of time to figure out how it would all work. The only pressing matter she could see would be telling her aunt, but for the moment she was content to avoid that train of thought, knowing it would only leave her anxious about the unavoidable conversation and she could really do without it.

Letting her arms fall away from him, save the hand he still held, she let him stand before getting a foot beneath her to lift herself up as well. Dusting off her skirts with her free hand, Sarah listened as he suggested they get her into the sun, as if the breezes alone were going to make her ill and bedridden. She didn't like the idea either, but it was going to take more than a bit of wind to make her suddenly get sick. "I'll be fine, Rhys. I'm not so fragile a breeze will make me ill," she joked, though she shrugged his shirt a little more securely around her shoulders. Turning, she started walking and directed them back towards the sunlight, walking slowly since she was in no rush for Rhys to have to deal with the irritation the sun's rays caused.